Goodness and Lovingkindness Will Follow Me All The Days of My Life (#4)

Amazing grace

The only true God Yahweh is full of grace and compassion, and knows my heart. He knows that I didn’t under­stand these two issues, and that this had led me to say those blasphemous words. But He didn’t punish me. On the contrary He let me experience ever more deeply His grace and love. From the beginning of the year 1983, I had experienced five wonderful incidents.

The first incident

At the beginning of 1983, when I was in my second year of university studies, one day I received a letter from my father in Vietnam. Father said he fell ill and needed some money for medical treatment. Whenever I got to know that my father was ill, I would try my best to send him two hundred Canadian dollars even though I was poor.

The government gave me four thousand dollars in student grants every year. The tuition fee was one thousand, the other three thousand dollars covered my living expenses, books, and study tools. I spent an average of around three hundred dollars each month for my living expenses. I didn’t do part-time work during the school semesters because, as I mentioned, my English was not good, so I needed more time to study. I worked in a restaurant only during the summer holidays. Therefore two hundred Canadian dollars was a big amount to me.

In those years, sending money to Vietnam was very tedious. First I had to buy a money order from the Royal Bank of Canada, but I was not allowed to send it directly to my father. I had to give my father’s name and address to the Royal Bank, and they would send that money order together with my father’s name and address to the National Bank of Vietnam in Ho Chi Minh City. Then with the address I provided, the National Bank in Ho Chi Minh City would inform my father to come and pick up the money. The money that he received would be in Vietnamese currency, not Canadian dollars. Even though the procedure was inconven­ient, it was reliable. All along I had been sending money to my father by this method, and every time he was able to receive it quite fast.

But one month later, I received another letter from my father in which he told me he had not received the money. I knew that something had gone wrong, so I immediately checked the receipt from Royal Bank. I took one look and realized that I had made a big mistake. I had fill in my father’s name, the country, the city, and the street, but not the house number. The money had arrived at the National Bank in Vietnam, but they couldn’t inform my father of it because there was no house number!

I was horrified. Where had the money gone to? Did it get lost? How could I have made such a mistake? I was always careful, so why was I careless this time? My father needed the money, but how could I find another two hundred dollars? I was scared and grieved, and just cried.

Suddenly it seemed as if someone was reminding me, “Why don’t you ask God for help?” I thought, “That’s right, just like in the past I can ask God to help me.” Immediately I started praying to God (I don’t remember whether I was kneeling or not), and poured out my fears and anxiety to Him, saying, “I am very scared. I know that you are almighty, and that you certainly can help my father receive the money, so please help.” After the prayer, my heart was filled with the same warmth and peace that I had experienced before. I knew God will help me.

I made a photocopy of the receipt from the Royal Bank, and sent the photocopy together with a letter to my father. I told him to take the photocopy to the National Bank and resolve the matter, for his name was on that receipt. But my father didn’t speak Vietnamese at all, and even though there was the street name, there was no house number. The National Bank in Vietnam may reject his claims since there were many people with the same name living on the same street, which is one of the main streets in Ho Chi Minh City (he was staying in a small alley of that street). So how could my father prove that he was the intended payee?

About a month later, I received another letter from my father telling me that he had received the money, and that everything went smoothly. The loving and only true God Yahweh had listened to my prayer, and once again I experienced His amazing grace!

The second incident

At the start of the second year of my university studies, two other female students and I were renting a house together. But after living together for seven or eight months, our relation­ship had deteriorated and become very bad. All three of us had made mistakes, so not all the blame can be pinned on the other two.

I decided to move out of the house at the end of the semester which was at the end of April. The final exams started at the beginning of April and carried on to the end of April. During the exams, I was too busy studying to look for a place. But I had already informed my house­mates that I will be moving out on the first of May. My heart was quite anxious, for it was not easy for me to look for a place near the university. Moreover, my circumstances were getting difficult.

First, I didn’t have enough money to rent an expensive place; I could only afford a budget place. Second, I didn’t own furniture, so I would have to rent a furnished room. Third, the room would have to be near the school so that I could walk to class, not only to save time but on bus fares as well. Fourth, the place had to be safe if I were to live by myself, since I didn’t want to live in a place mixed with bad people. So how could I find a place that meets these four require­ments in just a few weeks’ time? Not to mention that I couldn’t even afford the time to look for a place.

Once again I went before God and told Him my difficulty, asking Him for help. Once again my heart was filled with that indescribable warmth and peace, and I knew that God had answered my prayer. But for the time being, I put aside the matter of looking for a place, in order to concentrate on my studies in preparation for the exams.

During the final exams in April, every day I would go to one of the university libraries to study there because it was warm there, having much better heating than in my place, and it was quiet. I would usually go to the library in the morning. I would bring my lunch with me and stay in the library until it was about to close in the evening.

One day as I was leaving home, I suddenly had the idea of not bringing a sandwich today, but to buy a big hamburger to give myself a treat. I made a big circle to go to a 7-Eleven store on another street to buy a hamburger. When I was in front of the 7-Eleven store, I lift my eyes and saw a sign “Room for Rent” in front of a house on the opposite side. I went over to inquire, and it turned out that the room met all my requirements. It was a furnished room very close to the university and was very safe. There were several rooms in this house, all occupied by female university students. The superintendent of the house said he would not rent the rooms to male students, for he was afraid that if they get into a fight, they might destroy the house. He also said that if any girl brings a boyfriend to the house, the boyfriend wouldn’t be allowed to stay overnight. And the best thing about this place was the low rent. It so happened that I was carrying sufficient money, so I immediately paid the deposit of fifty dollars.

So I was able to find a most suitable room without spending any extra time to look for one. I knew that the only true God Yahweh had listened to my prayers, and that He had helped me again.

The third incident

At the beginning of 1983, the Department of Mathematics, the Department of Computer Science, and the Department of Engineer­ing at the University of Ottawa set up a co-op program, which students who had completed the second year of studies could apply to. In this program, the University would arrange for the students to get work placement in a commercial or technology company. The students would do regular class studies for one semester (four months), followed by work placement in a compan­y for one semester. This would continue, alternating between one semester of study and one semester of work, until the completion of the university degree. During the work placement, the students would receive a salary. The purpose of the program is to help them gain work experience. In this program, the students would take a longer time to get the required credits for the degree, but by the time they graduate, they will have gained much work experience. In Canada, work experience is very important in looking for a job because that is one of the main requirements when companies hire new graduates.

When I found out about this program, I immediately applied for it. The school sent my resume and transcripts to a few companies, so I waited to see which company would like to interview me. But I waited and waited, and after two or three months there was still no interview, though several of my classmates had already been interviewed and got placement work.

I felt humiliated and ashamed. I didn’t tell anyone about this, being afraid that people might laugh at me. This time I didn’t pray to God, and again complained to Him for being unfair to me.

In the end I thought that this was no big deal, for even if no company gives me a job, I could still go to work in a restaurant during the summer. I was not going to die. If others want to laugh at me, let them go ahead. In any case, I had already gone through much suffering. I resolved not to indulge in self pity, but to focus my mind on preparing for the final exams in April.

At the end of April, after I had just finished my last exam, the first thing I did was to go home to sleep. I woke up in the afternoon and went back to the school to see if there was any notice posted for me. There I saw a notice saying that a company wanted to interview me on the morn­ing of the next day. I was surprised and overjoyed, yet also scared. It was already 5 p.m., and I had no time to prepare for the interview.

Early next morning, I went for the interview. I didn’t even have time to buy better clothes, or to find out anything about the company’s business. Then the unexpected happened again, for that company was willing to hire me right away. It was a Friday, and they asked me to start work the next Monday.

I knew that the true God Yahweh was helping me again, extending His mighty hand to make such a wonderful arrangement. Years later, while I was pondering on this incident, I clearly saw God’s reasons for waiting until the last day of the semester to tell me that a company wanted to interview me.

First of all, by nature I get nervous easily; even a minor thing can make me anxious. If I had known of the interview earlier, I would probably be thinking about it day and night to the point of not being able to sleep well, and unable to focus on my studies. I wouldn’t do well in the exams, and would mess up the interview. God knew my character through and through, so He arranged to have me receive the interview notice only after I had finished the last exam.

The second reason was that God wanted me to always remember that this job was given by Him, and that I got it not by my own diligence or intelligence. I went for the interview the day after receiving the notice, so I didn’t even have to time to prepare for it. Also, I had just finished my last exam, and was exhausted mentally and physically, so even if I wanted to prepare for the interview, I wouldn’t be able to. I went to the interview with no preparation at all, yet the company was willing to hire such a naive person. I have nothing to boast about, and I will always remember that my first computer job was granted to me by the true God Yahweh.

This incident allowed me to see God’s matchless grace and forgive­ness. Even though He knew my character, He sympathized with my weaknesses.

The fourth incident

After getting the job, I was afraid that my knowledge wasn’t enough to handle the technical side of the work. Whenever I became nervous, I would start imagining every possible negative scenario. So I couldn’t sleep the night before my first day of work. I got up at 7 a.m. to go to work. When I was walking on the street, I became even more nervous. And when I walked into the office, I was so nervous that my hands were shaking. Later when the supervisor came to talk to me, I was tongue-tied and couldn’t speak clearly.

The supervisor brought me to my desk which was beside the left wall. On the wall I saw a picture of magnificent mountains, with a line at the bottom: “Those who trust in the Lord are as strong as Mount Zion itself, that stands unmoved forever (Psalm 125:1)”. That was a verse from the book of Psalms in the Bible. I gazed at the picture, for that verse went right into my heart, filling it with warmth. It seemed as if God was standing in front of me saying, “Don’t be afraid, you must rely on me! I will make you as strong as Mount Zion that stands unmoved forever.”

My tears almost came down, for God understood me. In all these years God had been helping me, saving me, and providing everything I needed, and I am certainly grateful to Him. But this time when God comforted me with this verse from the Psalms, my heart melted. God not only took care of all my daily needs, He was also concerned about the needs in my heart. At my weakest moment, the moment when I most needed encouragement, God was standing in front of me embracing me with His mighty hands. In His bosom I wasn’t afraid anymore, I felt very safe. At that very moment, standing next to my desk, I made up my mind, without any hesitation, to say to God in my heart, “I will follow you to the end!” There and then I committed my life to God.

I don’t know who had hung the picture there, maybe it had been there a long time. But God knew that I would be sitting here, and that at this moment I would be very weak, so He arranged to have the picture put next to my desk. During the four months of work placement in that company, every day the picture accompanied me at work, as if God was standing right next to me and encouraging me.

The fifth incident (a miracle)

On the first day of work, my supervisor asked me to sit down at my desk, and gave me several manuals on the company’s computer system. My first job was to study the manuals to understand the system, so I sat down to study them carefully.

Ever since childhood, I had one strange illness: I would sometimes faint for no obvious reason, and after a few minutes I would wake up as if nothing had happened. My mother brought me to several doctors to check on this, but nothing was found. Every time before passing out, I would see all the things around me turning yellow, with the yellow getting darker and darker until it becomes black at the instant of passing out. The whole process took only one minute.

That morning when I sat down to read the manuals, my mind couldn’t focus. I was too tired because I hadn’t slept the night before. Suddenly I saw that the books on the desk were a bit yellow. I immediately raised my head to look around, and everything was becom­ing yellow. I was scared, for I knew that I was about to faint. I couldn’t afford to faint on my first day of work, I couldn’t afford to lose this job which was so hard for me to get!

I held on to the desk, and had one minute left. I cried out to God in my heart, “God save me!” Once I said that, everything around me became clearer, and the yellow started getting lighter and lighter. In less than one minute, the yellow was completely gone, and all the things around me became very clear. I didn’t pass out, for God had performed a miracle to save me! Before this happened, I was so tired that I couldn’t read or even sit straight, but now I didn’t feel tired at all. My mind was as clear as if I had a good night’s sleep of seven or eight hours, making it possible for me to focus my mind on studying the manuals. But the most amazing thing is that from that day on to this very day, some thirty something years later, that strange fainting illness never occurred again. God had healed me, and taken away that fainting illness.

I commit my life totally to the true God Yahweh

Through these five incidents, God opened my eyes so that I may see that He is very real and that He loves me! His grace melted my heart, so I was very willing to commit my life totally to the true God Yahweh. I was willing to become a slave of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.

In October of the same year, 1983, I was baptized to become a Christian. I asked God to help me find the two girls with whom I used to share a house, and He answered my prayer by helping me to reconcile with them.

Even though at that time I didn’t have the answers to some of my questions, I believed that the loving and righteous God Yahweh had a plan for all mankind that I didn’t quite understand all along.

Through all these years, the longer I walk with Yahweh God, the deeper I get to know Him and the Lord Jesus Christ. I know that God loves everyone, that He wishes all people to be saved, that He doesn’t want anyone to perish, and that before the creation of the world, He already had a plan of salvation for humankind. God is absolutely just and righteous, with no partiality in Him. Actually the sufferings that I had gone through were beneficial to me, for it was through these sufferings that I was able to experience God’s mighty power and love. That is something that those who live in comfort and wealth cannot experience.

I am grateful to the humanitarian spirit of the Canadian government and the Canadian people, for they had taken care of us, generously opening their pockets to help the Vietnamese refugees. I knew that it was through them that Father God Yahweh had helped me. In December of the same year (1983), I took up Canadian citizenship and become a Canadian citizen.

As a Christian, I want to love all people, including my enemies. I previously did not like the people of Vietnam, so I begged Yahweh God to help me love them. Thanks to Father God, He listened to my prayer, and poured out His love in my heart and changed my heart. I now love the people of Vietnam as I love the Chinese people and the people of Canada.

Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of Yahweh forever. Psalm 23:6